Let's Talk Urinals

Why is it that toilet technology has virtually stood still in the United States for the last 40 years? I base that time frame on the fact that the same design for urinals that used to splash all over the place when I was in elementary school are still in use today. I added a coupe of years because the ones in my school already looked like crap when I got there in 1966.

Toilet technology here in Japan far exceeds anything we Americans can even conceive. The public urinals are designed is such way as to minimize splashing although they can’t do anything about just plain bad aim. On my last trip out here, there was an American in the bathrooms at Narita Airport, taking pictures. Unfortunately I happened to be occupying one of the urinals at the time and was less than amused but he said with absolute sincerity that the bathrooms were just so clean that he had to take a picture to show people at home. I told him that one of his pictures might be overexposed. What a concept, a clean public bathroom.

I went to a friend’s house for dinner and when I went to use the bathroom, it took me an extra ten minutes to figure out how to use the toilet seat and this is not the first time I have seen the bidet seats . This one must have been the Cadillac of toilets seats and I never did figure out all the buttons because thety were written in Japanese but here is a short list of the functions of this sweet ride:

Heated seat with adjustable temperature
Bidet
Dryer
Sprayer with
- Adjustable water pressure
- Adjustable spray angle
- Adjustable water temperature
Big Flush (for those big jobs)
Little Flush

The only thing missing on this baby was Corinthian leather.

So what the hell is wrong with the US? I am going to write to my Congresswoman and demand better toilets. I’d like to huck my old American Standard out the window. We can put a man on the moon but we….OK, I’ll stop now.